


thank me for it

by orphan_account



Category: Newsies - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Parents, Death, suicide note, this is your warning, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:46:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24240778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: race found alberts note
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	thank me for it

**Author's Note:**

> i’m really sorry for this it’s not even good but i needed to write it

Race didn’t mean to go through Alberta things but he saw a piece of paper sticking out form under the mattress and couldn’t resist. So he read it.

i hate you with all of being right now. if you knew me you would know that i never let myself hate people. never. but i hate you. i hate you for making me do this. i want to kill myself and i can’t do anything about so fuck you. i want to hang myself in my closet. i want to jump off the roof. i want to drown myself in the river. i want to write a suicide note so that the people who actually love me know that they couldn’t help it. i want you to blame yourself and i want the world to know that this was your fault. i want to overdose on anything we have in the cabinet and i want to slit my own throat. i want to bleed out from my wrists as you sit in the other room and ignore me. i want to die and i want you to find me when you barge into my room and find my dead body and realize that you are the asshole who never should have been a parent. i want you to cry at my funeral as anyone but you speaks. i want my brother to grow up hating you because you did this to me. i want to leave and never come back. i want to see my mother again. i want you to feel more pain than you ever thought was possible. i want all of this because you made me like this. i want to call my friends and tell them to go in without me and see a few people one last time. i want my name to be on the front page not because i’m gone but because my note was a very public statement of your parental neglects. i want to wither away to nothing. i wish i never existed at all. i’m sorry if anyone ever has to see this but the one person i’m not sorry for is you. you deserve everything that’s coming for you. you deserve every moment you spend mourning and every pang if guilt that ever comes your way. i hate you with everything i have ever been and everything i could ever be. i hate you because i no longer have a will to live and that’s on you. but if you were to beat me right now i would thank you. if you were to throw me down the stairs i would worship you and if you were to shoot me i would love you for it. i want to be gone and if you were the one to do it i could never repay you. i would stab myself in the stomach and rip out my own intestines if i thought it would break you. i would drag myself behind a car with a rope around my neck and i would jump in front of your car in the hopes it would kill me. i would throw myself off a bridge and i would smile as i fell. but i won’t. so thank me for it because i could cause you pain in ways you couldn’t even fathom.

Race was crying now. No, he was sobbing. He couldn’t think straight. But before he could even process what he had just read, a knock on the door.  
Albert walked in.  
“Race?” Race looked up and saw as Albert realized what he had in his hands  
“Albie I-“


End file.
